Sunday, July 30, 2006

How I want to be loved!

Or should I say, how I deserve to be loved. Is it realistic to desire how to be loved? Is it realistic to want to feel love as it if was tangible, something to hold on to? By love, I mean relationship love, not unconditional love, yes, they are different. Unconditional love is so much less complicated in some ways. You love your child unconditionally, they may disappoint you but you deal with it and love them all the same. With relationship love it is so much different, there are insecurities, faith and trust thrown into the mix. You would think something as wonderful as love would just flow easily, just happen. Love is work, hard work and at this point in my life I have to wonder if love is so hard for me because it is inherently flawed from the beginning or if like anything else that is worth it, love takes a lot of energy to maintain and cultivate?

The burning question of the day!

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Upstairs, downstairs

I have started a new blog it is This blog has been set up to follow my journey on the newest battle in my life, breast cancer. I consider this my upstairs blog, personal stories of a normally funny nature, things like that. Downstairs I will be reporting on my day to day life as a new person with cancer. Sometimes I can't believe I am even typing those words! Feel free to visit downstairs or stay upstairs whichever you are more comfortable with, just keep on commenting, my friends at home and in blog land are the fuel for my fight!

Monday, May 22, 2006

A Little Advice

A very wise person one said:

"It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid, then open it and remove all doubt"

I could go on and on about that advice but I will heed it's warning and refrain. I only ask that the next time you feel the need to pontificate to someone, please remember the above.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Spiderman Kiss

I am not a huge fan of Comic based movies but I must admit if I had to choose a superhero it would be Spiderman. There are several reasons why Spiderman appeals to me. He is quite and unassuming, his powers aren't too over the top and in almost every case he uses his power for good. Spiderman is the underdog, yet he never gives up, isn't that what one looks for in a superhero? He also has the love of his life right at his fingertips yet he knows she will always be at risk when she is with him so he puts her well being before is own and keeps her at a distance.

Well at a distance sometimes anyway. This brings me to the Spiderman Kiss, the other day I was searching the internet for a Spiderman game that my nephew likes to play and when I searched I found the Spiderman Kiss phenomenon, when I saw it I knew exactly what it was referring to, the part in the first Spiderman movie where Spiderman is suspended upside down and MJ removes his mask to his nose and they engage in a kiss, a rather passionate kiss. OK I will admit it, this is a hot scene and I have rewatched it on the DVD more than once. C'mon ladies fess up, this curls your toes! I think what I like about it so much is that he is allowing himself to be very vulnerable to her, I suppose deep down he trusts her. With those feelings involved there will no doubt be a very passionate kiss as a result. Guys, I am not sure but I think this is another "girl thing" that you just don't get. I can hear it now all the guys saying, "they ruined a perfectly good action flick with this chick scene". Deep down I know the men watching think it is hot too but they are disappointed that Spiderman didn't feel her up! Sometimes I really do believe men and women are from different planets, that's right Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Moments in Time

A split second decision that opened a door.
A comment, confusion, this was not what I was looking for.
I lost you, you had to find me,
for once it was right to avoid harmony.

The head, the humor and oh yes the voice
A friendship established, like I had a choice.
Two different worlds become entwined
I do believe we are of the same mind

We will take a big step, no turning back
You're eager to be taught a new attack
A dream to guide us we can learn as we go
There is really no sense in taking it slow.

Monday, May 15, 2006


When I speak
the words I say are true.
When I weep
the tears are spilled for you.

From we to me
Some pieces gone.
Can I fill the void
will life go on?

I only lie to myself
The reason isn't me
Nothing to do but move on
Forced to accept responsibility

Choosing to live with my senses on hold
The painful echo in my empty soul
The tastes of life should never grow old
Can I reclaim the innocence you stole?

My heart will grow, this ache will disappear
I will survive nothing else to do
I smile and laugh I hide my fear
The price I pay when you're untrue.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Kids ask the darndest things

Today at Mother's Day lunch my 6 year old daughter asked me if I thought Elvis flushed the toilet before he died? I said I didn't think so.

What a peculiar child!