Did you ever wonder...................................

This morning at 4:45 am I was brushing my teeth before going to work. (I am a stickler for good oral hygiene) and I noticed sitting on my sink was a shoe horn. I have moved many times in my adult life and this shoe horn has survived every single one. I doubt it has ever been used for it's intended purpose in my home, most likely my kids have used to to dig for worms, scoop peanut butter out of the jar and for water fights in the bathroom. I did not purchase this shoe horn, as a matter of fact, I wouldn't even know where to purchase one. Walmart doesn't have a shoe horn aisle does it? I have actually never seen one in a store, ever! Plus the fact that I never use a shoe horn to put my shoes on, I figure if you need a shoe horn to put your shoes on it is time to buy bigger shoes. Besides, isn't that what your index finger is for? (Amongst many other household uses) Then on my drive to work I started to ponder other very difficult questions. Mainly things I have seen but I don't have an explanation for. For example, the other day I was driving home from a funeral (do you get that I drive alot?) and I saw a group of people walking into a restaurant, parked outside this establishment was a new car with one of those giant bows on it. Where the hell do you get one of those bows from. I have been in many a card shop and I have never once seen a 4 foot bow in the Hallmark store! I delved into these mysteries even further, a few weeks ago I worked at an opening of a community center and a local politician officiated over the ribbon cutting ceremony, in his hands he held a working pair of gigantic scissors, I am talking 3 feet long, once again I have never seen a pair of scissors like this in any store I have ever been in. Is there a store where you can buy over sized items such as bows, and scissors? If so, someone please let me know because I would like to get my hands on an over sized bar of chocolate. After eating one of those I may actually have a use for that shoe horn!

You know in some strange, unexplainable way you must really have something jumping, thumping, fighting, hiding away; important to say!

In one day I have so many random thoughts about random things it is truly a wonder that I get anything accomplished. Here is a sample of how randomly I thought today.

I woke up this morning, just like every other morning. Well, no actually this one was a tad bit easier as the kids were off from school. I got my little ones up so they could get ready to go to daycare, I still had to work. As I brushed my teeth I noticed either a Volkswagen Beetle parked on my forehead or a very large pimple. In England they call these things spots, what a nice way to describe such an ugly thing. I couldn't call this a spot, it was undeniably a zit and on my forehead of all places who gets a huge zit on their forehead? Thank goodness it wasn't in the middle or if I closed my eyes I would have been mistaken for a cyclops! This all ties in with the fact that I am ovulating. Yes, I do know when I am ovulating, don't worry guy bloggers this isn't period talk. Then I started thinking about the ramifications of ovulation. Right now I have 1/2 the seed of life floating in my fallopian tube (not sure which one but if I had to bet the farm on it I would go with the left). Inside me at this moment I possess the ability to create another human life, introduce sperm to that egg and you have a baby in nine months. Well in my case about 8.5 months that is my average with the 4 kids I have. I am in no way saying I am yearning to have another child, it is just the fact that I can is what amazes me. The frailty of human life soaked in such simplicity blows me away. Sometimes that is very empowering and also frightening. This brings me to my cat,* she is knocked up! I knew I should have had "the talk" with her but she is young. I thought I had time. Now I am looking at several more mouths to feed and I don't really like cats all that much, I only rescued her because I felt sorry for her. I am a sucker for a cute face. Between my children and these animals they are going to suck the life right out of me. As a matter of fact, I am dehydrated. When people say I am flaky, they don't mean in the "she marches to the beat of a different druumer" way, they literally mean I am flaky. I don't understand it, I drink at least 4 bottles of water (which, by the way, in Philadelphia is pronounced wood-er) a day and I go through more lotion then an all boy boarding school! Maybe I am just shriveling up and well before my time I might add. I wonder if becoming a Pseudo Grandmother has anything to do with it? Now speaking of Grandmothers, I drive a Mini-van. Yes, I admit it I do. I have a 4X4 also but it is more practical and gas efficient to drive the van unless the weather is bad or I feel a little wild. I have noticed that under the hood of that mini van is a candy apple red Mustang with twin cam whosawhatsies that goes from 0 to 60 very quickly and corners like it is on rails. Oh yeah, it has a kick ass stereo too! There are days when I am all about piloting that Mustang and there are days when I am OK with driving a mini van. I suppose we all need those Mustang days don't we. Last but certainly not least the title of this post which comes from a Pete Townshend composition called Guitar and Pen from the album Who Are You, this song reminds me of so many things but I will only mention two (for time sake) first when I listen to this song I automatically get the picture of a Broadway show in my head and I love musical theater so it always makes me happy. When I listen to the words Pete so eloquently wrote I think of all the times I have quoted his angst filled wisdom. I quote him with pride and I do so again in the title of this post. Thank you Pete for letting me borrow your words they always seem to fit so well!

Even though these are random thoughts to me they really are important to say!

*I did consult a veterinarian about "fixing" the cat when I found her but he was concerned about her size and thought I should wait a little while before doing so, what a dope!