Choices, Guilt and Masturbation

These three words have been weighing very heavily on my mind.

Choice. Each day we make many choices, how many times will we hit the snooze button before we get out of bed, what to wear, what to have for breakfast. Some choices seem inconsequential, mundane and other choices can be life altering. You decide to get married. or have a child, quit a job, move across the country. You can choose to hurt someone you love or you can choose to honor them. I have to wonder how we can make either a thoughtless choice or a life altering choice with the same brain and be expected to make the right choice every time. No one expects us to choose incorrectly, we always want to make the correct decision.

Guilt. I am an Irish Catholic so I KNOW guilt. You see I am a pretty good person, I try not to hurt people and if I do I am truly sorry for it. I haven't made of habit of breaking laws or cheat on my taxes so I have never had to admit guilt in the legal sense. So, tell me why do I feel guilty all the time. I suffer from buyers remorse, which is the guiltless persons excuse to feel guilty and be justified. I have been know to feel guilty about things that are totally out of my control, I would go into this further but I am not in the mood for having all my idiosyncrasies under a microscope in a public forum. For those of us who are pretty much guiltless, it is a wasted emotion. Why do I waste so much time worrying about it?

Masturbation. Last night while lying in bed (don't worry this isn't going there) going over my day in my mind, waiting for sleep to come and take me. I listened to the silence that invades my home after the bundles of energy (my kids) are off to sleep. The silence was broken by an odd sound, suddenly I began hearing what sounded like a bored hooker having blase' relations on an old spring mattress! I have a 16 year old son and his bedroom and mine share an ajoining wall! Nuff said, right? As I hid my head under the pillow, my fingers in my ears, singing show tunes at the top of my voice I began to realized that this has been going on for quite a long time. As I finished the last verse of Surrey With the Fringe On Top I began to think either this kid has serious constitution or I am mistaken. Then it started to drive me nuts, I got out of bed and quietly tapped on his door, no answer. I slowly opened the door, he was dead asleep. (Sigh of relief from the author). As I opened the door completely I found that the noise was being generated by his ceiling fan rotating at full force, before I knew it I was sucked into the jet wash it created and I almost lost an eye! My son, the poor innocent party here would be mortified if he knew I relayed this story to you as he doesn't even know it happened as he was sleeping like an angel, so please don't tell him. Of course, I went to bed glad I made the choice to go in and investigate as it cleared my mind and the noise that drove me insane ceased. Needles to say I went to bed feeling rather guilty anyway.